me, myself and i | one week

it’s been one week, one whole week without you three… i thought i was doing ok until i saw you on that wonderful invention called skype and realized the silence is horrible, the sounds are creepy, the fact that is takes me five days to fill a dishwasher, the bed is too big to heat up, the boy’s room looks sad so empty, the xmas tree seems odd, the dining table ridiculous and somehow turning the heaters on seems like i’m destroying the planet…
no matter how good it feels to be able to think about me for this time, to understand my inner rythm and needs, and wishes i do feel lonely. it’s not a sad lonely… but it’s lonely nonetheless.

still four days to go and i am sure you boys are having fun and dad is enjoying being back home and seeing all our friends, his brother and sister and his home at heart… but i miss you all dearly. my boys and you… i miss you. i miss you so much…

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i’m ready | 2015

never have i sat down in such silence and written about a year past by… two thousand and fourteen was a challenging year, it brought me lots of happy moments, smiles, and good feelings, but it also brought me fear, loneliness and feelings i never want to feel again. it also made me look at my life a bit differently or at least made me think about it on a level i had never before thought about it. 

i am grateful and thankful that i was able to act and resolve some issues this year, that i was able to see the good in almost every situation and in every person that crossed my path. i look forward to this new year, i really do. there is a new baby coming in our family and i am determined to make that little girl happy by letting her know that life is good and we should always be thankful. may two thousand fifteen be OUR year, may it makes us all smile.

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