i’m running | week 04.08

treino em casa… ou onde quiserem
não vou mentir, correr não é de todo a minha praia, aliás eu sou mesmo praia, deitada e de preferência sem areia nos pés. mas quando decidi a “mexer-me” mais no início do ano, foi mesmo a pensar que se tivesse que correr para isso, então que fosse. claro que tenho que pagar a alguém para me obrigar senão eu corro do banho para a cama, ou do sofá para a cama, e isso não estava a dar resultado nenhum. eu ando a pé 20min de manhã e mais uns 20min à tarde, sempre ou a subir ou a descer e tem-me habituado a mexer quer eu queira quer não, mas correr à séria ou exercício forçado fazia-me falta tenho que admitir. o P tem sido a companhia ideal para isto, não é demasiado bossy, mas também não tem pena de mim… NENHUMA mesmo. eu bem tento, “quão cansada te sentes de 0 a 10?” eu bem grito “10,5!!!” mas ele ignora, já cheguei a chamar a polícia para me salvar, riram-se e acho até que piscaram o olho ao P… indecente. 
todos os sábados de manhã lá estou eu no jardim mais giro e cool da cidade onde ainda só se mexem os patos, e lá está ele, o homem de neon, capuz e mochila a abarrotar de adereços que de giros não têm nada, mas sim um leve aspecto de tortura. a meio da semana a cena lá se repete à beira-rio, mas desta vez não há patos mas sim dezenas de gente a correr para trás e para a frente sem eu perceber bem porquê… até chegar a casa, tomar banho e sentir-me super bem! sim, eu admito, se não é a minha praia, tem-me feito um bem bestial. se eu já me sentia bem em dezembro, hoje sinto-me capaz de mudar o mundo, o meu pelo menos. quando acabo o treino ao sábado estou pronta para tudo, desço a calçada e lá vou eu a sorrir e a pensar que consegui mais um treino, quando nem há meia-hora atrás estava literalmente a pedir socorro! o meu peso agradece e ultimamente isso nem tem sido fundamental, a minha cabeça parece outra, eu sinto-me muito melhor e acho que estou a começar a gostar… mas não digam nada ao P porque ele cada dia inventa uma tortura diferente e diz sempre “estou a gostar de ver, estás cheia de energia!” o que quer dizer que se ele sonhar que eu adoro isto, no próximo sábado deixa-me k.o.!! 

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twenty fourteen project | 12

from one of those saturdays when we used to pick up the car and drive to a different country, a differente city, a different culture just because. from one of those days where we fit like love does. from one of those days we need to always keep in mind. 

(this twenty fourteen project will change to thursdays)

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instaweek 12.14

não vou mentir, começou bem e descansada, tornou-se numa semana triste e cheia de questões que põem uma pessoa cansada e com vontade de se fechar num casulo. viram pelo post sobre a morte o quão o ambiente mudou por aqui, se bem que não me afectou directamente, mexeu com quem eu gosto muito e foi muito difícil ver quem tem uma força do tamanho do mundo ficar pequenino e indefeso… o ambiente melhora a olhos vistos mas as questões ficam e a tristeza perdura… esperemos por melhores dias primaveris. conheci uma loja nova, e se bem que amei a roupa, não é de todo o meu género, de todo o meu preço, não posso pagar 69€ por túnicas, mas acho que pagava qualquer preço pelos móveis que lá vi. é uma pequena sala de estar, acolhedora e tão informal onde apetece estar horas… se não olharmos a etiquetas… que pena… voltar a outra loja que me enche de felicidade, onde já fui mil e uma vezes, e onde encontro sempre um sorriso maravilhoso. um dia do pai em família, com o meu e o deles e o do mini-m, presentes que chegaram sem serem esperados e uma foto que relembra outros tempos, e carinhas de hoje. uma surpresa ao vivo e a cores e umas flores que têm força para curar tudo. 
i won’t lie, it started off well, relaxed and it turned into one of the saddest weeks, full of hard questions to answer, doubts, leaving us tired, exhausted and wanting to close up into a cocoon. if you read my last post on death you probably understood how things changed around here… though it didn’t affect me directly it sure did to someone i love very much. watching someone so strong become so helpless and sad makes you wonder and leaves you thinking… the moood is slowly changing but questions remain unanswered and sadness last… we are hoping for happier spring days. so i visited a new shop, and though i absolutely loved the clothes, it is not really my type of clothes and sure not my type of price, 69€ for tunics leaves me a bit thrown off, but i think i’d pay a lot more for the gorgeous furniture in the shop. an informal and relaxed sort of living room where you feel like staying for a while… if i don’t look at the price tags… it’s a pity. visiting another old shop that fills me with happiness, where i’ve been in a thousand times and where smiles are wide. a father’s day with family, my father, theirs and mini-m’s, gifts that arrive by surprise and a photo that reminds everyone of life gone by. a huge surprise in loco, and flowers that have the power to cure everything. 

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a letter

death is a difficult thing for anyone, it is very tricky… it is not as clear as it seems, and feels so unnatural, more than it should. one of the most natural things in the world becomes one of the most horrible and strange thing you ever go through. some mourn, some question, some cry, some get angry, some trauma, some even celebrate… but we all go through it, one time or another. 
it is also one of the most selfish things we go through in life too… we are sadden by their death, but more about our loss, we remember them but we can’t imagine going through life without them, we miss them, but we cry for what they mean to us… it is a strange but needed process to be able to aknowledge someone’s death… the realization that they are gone, forever. 
no matter how they went, suddendly, tragically, by choice, by disease, slowly or in a blink of an eye… it always hurts, it always makes us feel hurt, sad and most of all lonely. mostly because we realize everything that we have done lately seems so small, shallow sometimes even ridiculous compared to what that person has just gone through before death… how scared were they, by themselves before it happened, while we were watching tv comfortable in our house, how did it all happen without a soul around to hold his hand while we were sound asleep… questions flow in but answers don’t and we’ll live in doubt for a while… but just a while. nothing goes back to what it used to exactly, but we will go back to our lives, remembering on occasion what that loved one meant and still means to us, but our lives do go on, they have to somehow. it is difficult i am sure, for i have experienced it myself. i go through all the stages except celebrating… i have still to learn to do that. though i have lost loved ones in different stages of my life, some have become now amazing memories of what we had and how they were, and not so much of how they died… which can leave such hurt. 
we do not get better at dealing with death as we get older, we just cry less and understand more, but it still hurts a lot and i believe it scares us more than when we were little, because immagination is part of a child’s process of coping with a loved one dying… as for adults, there is no image of a beautiful garden or a lost paradise or of a secret hideout… there is yes, an empty space at the dinner table, a empty bed, a phone number you’ll never call again, a joke that made him laugh, an awkward silence when someone mentions his name, a short lived life and a future gone… there is no believing in happiness beyond, there is a brutal reality of “never again”… so yes, it is one of the most selfish things you have to go through in life, realizing who you are without them… but memories keep those who have gone in our hearts forever, and smiles seem brighter, and hugs seem warmer when remembered after days, weeks, months and years gone by.
we do get through it, we do go back to our lives because thankfully we can, mourning is a process but not a way of life. for those who have lost someone dear to them today, i send all of my love for i will do what i can to lessen the hurt, to make you smile and be there to give you time. andrea

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cores | pastel spring

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eu sei que é só amanhã, mas amanhã não é quinta-feira e amanhã terei outras coisas por contar e eu já não teria a mesma vontade ansiosa que chegue a primavera… por isso, em antecipação do que aí vem, eu hoje dedico as cores à primavera que está quase quase aí! pastel… tão bom e tão suave. mesmo a precisar de calma e que tudo renasça e que volte a cheirar a flores e relva. que as novas cores, a nova luz e o cheiro a nova vida ajude a ultrapassar momentos mais difíceis e cinzentos… 
i know spring is only coming tomorrow, but tomorrow is not thursday and tomorrow there will be new things to talk about but i use this color post to show how happy i am that spring is arriving… i dedicate this post to spring and to everyone who is begining things, projects and way of life… to all who have to find strength in hard situations and remember that every thing passes and we still go on, no matter how dark it seems. the sun will shine better than before and memories will accompany us through every day, hour and minute of our lives.
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twenty fourteen project | 11

so there i was… 24 weeks pregnant! in hot humid and dusty and tropical rain season in maputo. i was two weeks aways from flying to lisbon to finally relax and think only about these two human beings i was creating inside me… sorry if i’m so graphic, but that was how i felt. i was making something beautiful, two beautiful things actually. no idea what “type” of beings, girls or boys or one of each but all i thought about was how amazing it was and how amazing it was to be with him through this whole process. it was amazing to have him there next to me, only for me and imagining things together. i was a bit tired by this stage, didn’t feel like driving much lately or sitting down either, i was much better standing up, walking, and feeling useful. people helped a lot, which was very nice, a new status, but i felt very helpless sometimes too… i have no recolection of being very big, but i have proof in photos that i was bigger than i imagined, specially durint the second trimester which somehow felt much bigger than my third. anyway… i was wearing pink because deep inside i felt two boys were coming! 😉

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instaweek 11.14

ter semanas atrás de semanas boas é uma sensação tão boa e tão merecedora depois de tanto trabalho e esforço físico, mental e psicológico! merecidos por todos aqui nesta mini casa. uns porque ser criança é difícil e uma canseira, outros porque dormem pouco, hibernados em imagens três d e outras, eu, única menina na casa, que precisam de desaparecer. graças a mim estes três homens têm programas super divertidos. eu sou daquelas que arregaça as mangas e ‘bora lá meninos que vamos à neve! temos a sorte de ser herdeiros de um pedaço de paraíso no pé da serra da estrela, onde a noite é mágica e iluminada por estrelas e uma catedral, onde as nossas árvores chegam literalmente ao céu e onde o jardim é a nossa floresta privada. a trinta minutos do topo da torre lá fomos nós mostrar o manto branco aos mais pequeninos. um pai que viu neve com 2 meses pela primeira vez, uma mãe que a viu só aos 10 anos (tiveram preguiça de subir a montanha??) e estes dois foram forçados a ver já… nem oito nem oitenta, suficiente para marcar na memória… entre uma novidade e outra dei de caras com um livro único no meio daquele casarão… com dietas de bradar aos céus que incluem peixe ao pequeno-almoço.. enfim… que mais? ah comprei uma capa para o tlm linda e uns calções… tenho dito. um teatro de sombra na biblioteca preferida e umas encomendas feitas para mim, cadernos e pulseiras que podiam só ser minhas!
having good weeks in a row is extraordinary is a great feeling and so deserved after so much work! deserved by everyone around here. some because being a child really hard and exhausting, others because they are sleep deprived with so much work in 3d and me, the only girl in the house because i just want to dissapear sometimes. thanks to me, these boys get to do really fun things, i am one of those who just thinks of something and does it, and friday all i said was “let’s go!” and so we did, off to the mountains and see snow! we are lucky to have inherited a beautiful spot of land with a gorgeous house, where the nights are lighten by a cathedral and trees reach the sky, where our garden is our private forest. thirty monutes from the high top we drove up there to show the boys snow for the first time and my gosh how amazing it was… between a dad who saw it the time he was 2 months old, a mom who for some reason only got to touch it at 10, these two were lucky enough to see it at 3 and i hope keep it in their moemories forever. amongst so much excitemente i found a treasure book in our house with crazy diets, some of which include fish for breakfast… what else? oh a new iphone cover which is the cutest ever and a pair of short shorts… a shadow storytelling at our favourite library and a couple of special orders made for me, notebooks and a bracelet… perfect!
Continue Reading instaweek 11.14